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I used to think a couple should be able to choose to have one or two embryos put inside her. After all, a childless couple paying for IVF would get a ready made family with twins.
It's a delicate subject because you want your IVF cycle to work. To have the best chance of working. So having 2 embryos increases your chances of having one baby. That's what we decided when we had our IVF. When it worked we thought "great, twins!" we never have to go through IVF again! What I didn't consider was the health implications to myself and the babies.
As you know (if you read my previous postings) we ended up delivering our twins 6 weeks early. We spent 18 days in hospital, with one baby in Neo Natal Intensive Care because he stopped growing in my womb. I still feel guilty that I chose to have 2 embryos and put my childrens health at risk. The NICU and hospital experience was one I don't like to remember. I was desperately unhappy, trapped on a ward with one baby whilst the other was down in NICU, in an incubator away from me. I cry if I think about it too much so I won't go there just yet. It's too painful and raw still.
I am changing my mind about couples having the right to choose to have more than one embryo. I know, it's easy for me to say as I got what I wanted. A family in one IVF cycle. But I have experienced both infertility and the not so idealistic side where one or both of your babies are seperated from you at birth. Hooked up to monitors, tubes in their mouths, drips, long lines in their legs. You mourn that last trimester of pregnancy and watch your friends having single babies go full term and give birth naturally, where often with an early delivery comes C Sections and being confined to your bed. Then you find that your prem baby can't suck properly and breast feeding becomes extremely difficult so you end up choosing to formula feed high calorie prem formula because you know your baby will put on weight more easily. Then there's the gastric reflux, common in prem babies.....
I don't regret having my boys as I love them both equally, but I wouldn't want anyone else or their babies to go through what we went through.
Is this normal for people to repeatedly add you and not say hello or why they add you? I don't understand!!!
Last weigh in they were 11lb 11oz and 9lb 7oz (I don't think I need to explain anymore who weighs what!), that was last Wednesday. Being weighed again this Friday. Lewis really is huge now. So much longer than Elliot. In fact we have to buy different sizes, as Lewis is in 3-6 months and Elliot still in 0-3 months. It's funny cos even as twins, Elliot gets the hand me downs.
Thanks for your comments on my last post guys! I didn't reply as I never seem to get online here anymore. The boys just keep me sooo busy ;-) Twins are hard work, but fun :-)
It's hard work.. very hard. I think one baby would be soo easy to take care of compared to this ;-) Anyway, enough of that as I can't be bothered to explain why twins are so hard!
The boys last weight check was on the 21st April (11 weeks old and a day) and they weigh:
Elliot - 8lb 5oz
Lewis - 10lb 7oz
They are 12 weeks old today!! Elliot of course ojnly looks the size of a newborn but is so advanced already. He can virtually hold his head up on his own, whereas Lewis still bobs his back and forth and headbuts your chin regularly. Their corrected age is 6 weeks today, so you have to take this into account. In some ways they are like 6 week old babies and in others like 12 week olds. They are only just starting to go longer at night time between feeds. It was always every 3 hours, but recently they have been going much longer.
Lewis slept from 12am until 7.30am the other night. Elliot is generally sleeping from 12 until 4.30am, which is good. We usually feed at 7.30pm & put them to bed now for 8pm. This gives us a bit of time to ourselves and they settle better at 8pm than any earlier as we previously tried when following the Gina Ford contented baby routine. Next feed time is 11pm (ish!). If they are back down to sleep by midnight then they seem to sleep until 4.30am minimum. We used to wake Lewis to feed him as soon as Elliot woke up for a feed but we've stopped doing this now as Elliot would wake at 4.30am but the times we left Lewis he'd sleep until 7.30am which by that time Elliot wanted another feed anyway!
So this nighttime routine seems to work ok, except last night where Lewis wouldn't take his full 5oz feed at 11pm and ended up waking at 4.30am, in a role reversal ended up with Elliot sleeping until 5.30am and having to feed him as it clearly doesn't work the other way round. We decided to always wake Elliot up if Lewis needs feeding as Elliot most likely won't go much longer anyway. Mr H went to work very tired this morning because of it unfortunately.
Managed to take a couple of sleepy pics earlier! Thought I'd post them :-)
Lewis
Elliot
We came home from hospital on the 19th February. I find it hard to remember everything from the past week as it has been so hectic and it's all a blur. Surviving on a couple of hours sleep here and there is exhausting. Elliot usually feeds every 2-3 hours, Lewis 3-4 hours. We've tried to up their milk to make them feed less frequently but it's a very slow process as they can only take so much each feed. At the moment, Elliot takes between 30-60 mil per feed and Lewis up to 100 mils. Lewis is the bigger twin and getting quite hefty! He is now 5lbs and 3oz (birth weight was 4lb 8oz). Elliot is catching up (now 4lb 0.5oz from 3lb 2oz) but he has a Gastric Reflux problem and often vomits up his milk as well as becoming very uncomfortable whilst feeding. The Neo Natal Unit have prescribled Infant Gaviscon and Ranitidine which he has only been on 1 day so we haven't seen too much of an improvement yet.
I took some pictures of the boys today and here are a few of the best.
edited..
I think they are quite handsome boys, but then again, I would think that!! ;-)
Born on the 2nd Feb 2009 at 11.42 and 11.43 in the morning by c section. Elliot arrived first weighing 3 pounds 2oz and Lewis weighed 4 pounds 8oz. Elliot in NICU and doing well with only tube feeding, long line and monitoring in an incubator. Lewis with me on ward doing well and maybe coming home next week.
Sorry for short post but hospital internet is shit.
Can't wait to find out the sizes of the babies now. Just had a look at the graph and followed the points that they plotted on the curve and if the babies are still following their same lines then the weights could be:
Twin 1 - 3.74lbs (2 weeks ago was 2.96lbs)
Twin 2 - 5.5lbs (was 4.6lbs)
I have this really cool application that I discovered on the web that you can put abdominal circumferences of babies in from ultrasounds and it gives a rough estimate of weight. To get the most accurate reading you have to put in the Femur length, head circumference & Biparietal Diameter as well, which I get for the bigger baby, but my ultrasound unit aren't good enoough to get all of those measurements on the smaller baby. Their lame excuse is that the baby is so low down. They gave up at week 27 and haven't taken a HC or BPD since then, whereas the specialist in the Fetal Care dept got all of these sizes when I was about 31 weeks, so it is possible. I think the other Sonographers just can't be arsed with the hassle.
Anyway rant over about Sonographers. The application is probably as accurate as the rough weight estimates that the crap sonographers tell us every 2 weeks anyway. It came from an NHS website anyway (don't think it's meant for patients to see though!)
Update: We just had a look at the graph to see what size the babies could be at 36 weeks (which is kind of when I think I will go into labour naturally) and the estimate is twin 1 could be 4lb and 9oz and twin 2 - 6lbs and 14oz!!! They would be great weights for 36 weeks :-) Keeping my fingers crossed!!
"If we could chose those with normal chromosomes logic tells us we double the chances of pregnancy and that's what we hope. Dr Fishel also says that it could help reduce the number of twins and triplets associated with fertility treatment. In this country we have to reduce the incidence of multiple pregnancy and there's a big drive to put a single embryo back. "
As long as they don't take away the choice to have 2 embryos then I'm all for it!
It's nights like these when I think I'm not going to make it to 38 weeks at all. Possibly 3 more weeks; maybe. Don't be surprised if I go into labour early. I won't be.
Oh and I have yet another growth scan on Thursday. Last growth scan was at 31+4 days and twin 1 was about 2lb 12oz and twin 2 was just over 4lbs. I am sort of expecting maybe 3.3lbs and 5lbs this week, just going on the way that twin 1 seems to always be 2-3 weeks behind, but twin 2 ahead by 2 weeks.
Maybe my size prediction will be totally off, I don't think anything is predictable in twin pregnancies so I'd better wait and see ;-)
- Mint Aero
- Peanut Butter Kit Kat
- Terrys Chocolate Orange bar
Had the corner shop sold Creme Eggs, I would have bought one of those as well...
Ok well I probably would have bought 5 as I did bring a crisp new £10 note with me specifically for chocolate.
At one point I got on a fours on the bed and rested my head on my hands. It gave some relief for a short time as I think it took the babies weight off one part of me and gave that side a bit of a rest. It probably opened up my pelvis as well which helped with the stretched ligaments that were so incredibly painful.
Eventually after hours I slept, then woke at 7ish to Mr H getting up for work so as usual I got up with him and had breakfast and tea, saw him off to work and got back into bed propped up with several pillows with the extra room I now had in the Kingsize bed since Mr H no longer occupied his half.
I fell back to sleep and eventually woke up at 11am. Crap. I didn't mean to sleep in that long. But I can only tell myself that I may as well get as much rest as I can because everyday is getting worse for me with these babies rapidly growing. It isn't just their combined weight either. It's all the other stuff like 2 placentas & fluids. A woman on a forum said recently that she weighed herself just before she gave birth to twins and then straight after her C Section. She lost 2 and half stone overnight. The babies only weighed 7lbs each so what accounted for that extra stone and a half? Certainly couldn't be fat! I haven't put much fat on during this pregnancy and I since the 2nd Trimester I have increased by just over 1 and a half stone. The last time I actually weighed this much was non-pregnant and I looked obese - my face, my upper arms, my backside, my calves - everywhere was fat! Now I just have this massive bump stuck on my front giving me backache!!
Hurry up and be born babies - but not for at least another 3-4 weeks for your own healths sake ;-)
Very weird and a bit creepy since there has never been a time (since we moved in here in Oct 2008) that you could tell that smokers lived here once or any wiff of smoke lingering in the carpets.
In the run up to being induced in 6 weeks (should I nake it that long and not already have naturally gone into labour) I am desperately trying to get the accounts running as smoothly as possible. This means making sure the accounts software has recurring entries which previously I'd action myself, but better not rely on the other director to remember to do whilst I am on Maternity Leave. Especially since the Director who is covering for me isn't very good with computers. Really, should I be trusting someone who phones me when they can't open an attachment within an email??? Oh well.... I'll still be keeping an eye on things even when the babies arrive.
So I've been telephoned twice by my Mother today already wanting to chat then to find out if I wanted to come over for lunch tomorrow as she's having a friend around. Two phonecalls from Mr H's physiotherapist trying to reshedule an appointment and several from work asking me how to do stuff & electricity meter reader guy wanting to take a reading!! Cats have been chasing up and down stairs, stepping all over my paperwork and generally being naughty.
I'm now at the point where I can barely sit at my desk as it's too uncomfortable. I normally only allow myself to sit at the PC for short periods due to being so large and my lung space being limited, but today I've been here hours and I still have things that need to get done or they just build up even more by the day.
I email Mr H to tell him about the Physio's phonecalls, first one he sorted and rang back to reorganise, then the second call was an apology as the receptionist cocked up and wanted a different time instead of the one she'd originally offered. So I had to email Mr H again and ask him to ring them and confirm.
And what response do you think I got for informing him of these inconvenient phonecalls made to his unpaid secretary? (i.e ME)
"OFFS! As if I haven't got enough to do!!!"
Yeah like I haven't got enough to do either..... Men!
We were offered an amnio to find out if it is chromosonal. But the specialist said in his opinion he couldn't see enough to suggest that it was but his observations on a scan won't be 100%. So we can choose to have an amnio at 33/34 weeks should we want to find out if the baby had Downs or another problem. But as he said, the baby wasn't showing other physical signs of being disabled/deformed etc and so he would say there was a low chance that there was an abnormality but they had to raise the issue as we need to be prepared for a problem. We are happy with his assessment that the chances of abnomalities is low so not having an amnio.
So they are going to be checking the growth every 2 weeks, looking for signs that twin 1 is stopping growing, then they have to deliver early. On Thursday our consultant should go through with us the procedure for an early delivery if they decide twin 1 would be better in an incubator than in my womb at 35 or 36 weeks gestation. So it all depends on the next 2 scans and how much twin 1 grows from now on.
Grow teeny baby, GROW! ;-)
Well we went for our scan to check the growth of twin 1 (called twin 1 because it's the one that's lowest in my pelvis and should be born first!) and we had a different Sonographer this time. She was really nice & treated us sensitively. After carefully taking the measurements of both babies she told us est weights of them both. Twin 1 was now 2.2lbs (approx) and twin 2 was 3.5lbs. A quick check of an average fetal weight chart here suggests twin 1 is only slightly behind, whereas twin 2 is way ahead!
So there was no mistake now, twin 1 is strangely behind twin 2.
We were asked to take a seat back out in the waiting room and I had my blood pressure & urine checked by a nurse who called me through shortly after. I asked about the Sheffield bloods (done 2 weeks ago) and she said it would be better to get Miss Ellis to check on the computer when we see her. I was surprised as we'd been told by the junior doc last time that our consultant, Miss Ellis wouldn't be in today.
Finally we are called through for the consulation, and Miss Ellis herself came and got us - so she was in after all!! This was a nice surprise! Finally meeting our proper consultant :-)
Firstly she told us I had protein in my urine and it needed to be sent off for proper testing as their dipstick tests aren't always accurate. She explained that my blood pressure was fine, so it didn't appear to be any sign of pre-eclampsia thankfully. Possibly a UTI, so she ordered my sample to get tested at the lab asap.
Then she asked about the things I'd mentioned last time (period pains, Braxton Hicks etc) and she seemed concerned. I told her that I have a lot of Braxton Hicks, and before that last appointment I'd had a particularly bad evening where there were several an hour. Apparently over 4 an hour can indicate premature labour and having twins was more likely to cause prem labour so I needed to call the labour suite if things get bad again. We asked her how bad is bad? I mean, painful? She explained that regular BH increasing in severity needed to be checked out and if necessary hooking me up to a monitor on the ward as they'd rather get me on steroids to mature the babies lungs early rather than leaving it until I'm in full blown prem labour. Basically she warned me that I could end up delivering before 34 weeks and I had to tell them if there seemed to be any symptoms no matter how trivial.
Then she got onto the scan results. They are still worried about twin 1. I am booked in for a more thorough scan on Monday 5th Jan in the Fetal Care dept. This is being done by a specialist who will see if there is anything that a normal Sonographer has missed. Blood flow to the placenta in twin 1 is still ok, but not as generous as twin 2 as is the fluid surrounding twin 1. The fluid in the sac could be in smaller quantities than twin 2 if twin 1 is excreting less urine, suggesting maybe a kidney problem. I know there is no point speculating as she explained the possibilities of twin 1 being smaller, but hopefully this next scan will give a better idea. Then we are to see her again next Thursday 8th Jan to discuss the results.
We left feeling a lot better about having someone confidently explain things and we felt like we are being monitored now (apparently we will have to come in fairly regularly now for scans & checks). Even after all that we got home and my Braxton Hicks got severe (not painful just gripping and uncomfortable) during the evening to the point Mr H said "We are ringing the hospital" and I said no. They were 10 minutes apart, but somehow I felt like they were down to the stress, worry and too much walking about I'd done all that day, so I thought bollocks and went to bed.
Thankfully I had a good nights rest and have only had minor BH today. If I feel like they really are getting worse next time for no reason I will give the hospital a call, but I'm going to make more of an effort to relax and destress as it's only 8 more weeks until I'm induced! Surely I can make it to then?! Hopefully anyway ;-)
We have had our detailed scan where they check every major organ during ultrasound and everything looks fine. Pictures were pretty crap but we are having a 3/4d scan on the 24th Nov, so I'll post those instead :-) Babies are kicking like mad now and Mr Hairybaby finds it all a bit bizarre. "Don't they hurt you?" he asks me. No, they just distract me and make me lose concentration like right now.... this is taking me far too long to write this entry due to kicky babies doing all sorts of madness inside me. Not to mention the bloody kittens (who are nearly 6 months) making a strange clicking noise in the kitchen. No doubt I will find bits of cardboard torn to shreds, or something equally messy strewn all over the floor when I finally get off this chair and go and look.
